I want to think in an authentic way.  When I conceive of an idea free of symbol, I recognize the feeling.

Talked to her today, finally.  A cellist and polite and with a gentle voice.  When I am 30 or 40, with a balding head and the hint of a gut, I will not talk to women this way, and I'll have more time alone with my thoughts.  I like the freedom, but the advantages are there and distract me.  When I am 30 or 40, I'll have a favorite chair for the sunset and hours while the light dissolves.  Maybe then I can think in an authentic way.