to bed before midnight for once.  things are turning: the earth, the season, and definitely my brain, immersed again in Academia.  

"To live life in the moment."  That little phrase has made me laugh lately.  Life is a moment repeated endlessly. 

a little baby follows me, 

snatches at my hem or shoes,

looks at me with its baby face,

but never babbles. 

riding on the way back from Italian with my Ipod on and in my ears...

thinking: what a great symbol that this was a gift from Mrs. Edwards.

what happens to all these things that I think to myself late at night?

to be romantic, I imagine a seed flicked away into the winds of a desert (assuming of course the desert cannot sustain said seed).

I am up late and I think these strange thoughts, and I feel like they should lead to places, yet they exist free of the symbolization resulting from coincidence.  

exist, a moment, dissolve.  pop.

I'm so new at this game... aspiring to think objectively.

I want to think in an authentic way.  When I conceive of an idea free of symbol, I recognize the feeling.

Talked to her today, finally.  A cellist and polite and with a gentle voice.  When I am 30 or 40, with a balding head and the hint of a gut, I will not talk to women this way, and I'll have more time alone with my thoughts.  I like the freedom, but the advantages are there and distract me.  When I am 30 or 40, I'll have a favorite chair for the sunset and hours while the light dissolves.  Maybe then I can think in an authentic way.

I like conversation best when one implores another to speak, and the cycle continues.

couples walk into wal-mart with blank faces, perhaps a hint of disgust.  it's like when you were in elementary school, pushing the opposite poles of magnets together; you can hold them close, and yet the tension is there.  what are they looking for on these shelves, on this thursday afternoon?  has this replaced a quiet conversation or the simple pleasure of company one and the other?  some are young, some are older into their 50s, and they all have guts (and presumably multiple prescriptions).  their clothes are disinterested like their expressions.  browsing I suppose.  as if "browsing" at wal-mart were some sort of justification.

just divorce already.